Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Eat Pizza Sticks

You may be wondering, "What the fuck am I putting into my body every day?" They are long, crusty, and delicious, but most of us are aware that there are a lot more factors to be taken into consideration when choosing a meal. Here's the top ten things to make you never want to put one of these bad boys in your mouth again:

10. Pepperoni is made from pigs, and pigs are dirty lil fuckers who live in BARNS.

9. Pizza dough plays no role in the crust of a pizza stick. What you are actually eating are old pancakes from Lincoln Square, pisswiped in the bathroom urinals.

8. Your parents spend an extra $1.50 every time your dumb ass orders one of these. Students who eat pizza sticks 2 times per day, 5 days a week end up spending $15 dollars per week of their parents money on unwarranted artery clogging.

7. All pizza sticks are made in red brick ovens, fueled by coals made by balls of burning pubes. Each year, 75 Ohio kids die of secondhand burning pube smoke.

6. Cheese is the 2nd most important ingredient in the pizza stick, and cheese is made from cows. Cows a dirty fuckers who live in crackhouse barns and step in their own shit. Cows also blast massive piss puddles on the floor without hesitation.

5. 6 THS cafeteria workers per month have to go on medical leave, due to frequent exposure to pube smoke.

4. Pube smoke hotbox in the kitchen and flows right out through the tray drop door. The ceiling tiles in the cafeteria are deteriorating, causing ceiling shrapnel sprinkles to sputter on student's selected and served lunch sides.

3. Numerous upperclassman have been denied of dates to prom due to embarrassing gas that leave the body as aftermath to consumption of pizza sticks.

2. Pube smoke oral consumption rates have increase by 150% percent since the item has hit Ohio cafeterias (OhioHealth.com).

1. Pube smoke

March 12, 2014. BREAKING TrojanTempo

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