Cyber Billionaire Steven Williams On The Verge Of Selling Twitter Account

Each day, Steven "Trill Bill" Williams becomes closer and closer to monopolizing the local Twitter traffic. Frequent posts about how much his Twitter is worth scares local accounts, making them question the future of their social networking.

"I don't know what the other options are," says Isaiah Fitch, "I have nowhere to move my social networking to. I have children to feed and my account value is dropping as Trill Bill continues to dominate."

Williams saw an increase of over $300 from just one day. "I have the cyberwebs at the tip of my fingers, dangling them like puppets. I will sell out my Twitter and the revolution will begin."

Where will you be when Twitter crashes? When all that you have worked for to has been blown to dust?

BREAKING Trojan Tempo. March 15, 2014. Follow us on Twitter @ttbreakingnews

Ms. Ball Quits, Opens Doggie Dance Studio

3/13/14 TROY Running out of the high school skipping and whistling 'Skip to my Lou', former math teacher Rhonda Ball officially quit her job this Thursday. Trojan Tempo BREAKING NEWS contacted Ms. Ball to get the scoop.

Tempo: "So Ms. Ball, how long have you worked at THS?"

Ball: "Honestly, anywhere from 10 to 50 years. I don't even know man. Fuck math."

TT: "Well clearly you weren't too happy with your job. What do you plan on doing in your retirement?"

RB: "Oh no! Being an IT worker for Troy has been great, but it's time for me to move on to my true passion; choreographing dogs. I'm opening my own dance studio Ball and Beethoven Doggie Dance Studio."

TT: "You are aware that you were a high school math teacher?"

RB: "what."

We wish Ms. Ball the best of luck in her future endeavors.

Trojan Tempo BREAKING NEWS, March 14, 2014. Follow us @ttbreakingnews

Science OGT Answers Leaked

A
B
C
A
D
C
B
D
B
B
C
A
D
A
C
C
B
B
B
A
D
C
D
C
B
C
A
C
D
B
A
A
A
D
C
B
A
B
C
D
D
R

BREAKING Trojan Tempo. March 14, 2014. Follow us on twitter @ttbreakingnews

Nick Minesinger More Interested In Calculator Games Than Actual Learning

Teachers know when your lazy ass is using your cell phone in class, but they never seem to notice when you get your game on with your TI-84. Sophomore Nick Minesinger, wearing a pair of Avias, was willing to talk to us about the topic.

"Yeah I get it, there's homework to be done but I quit giving a fuck as soon as I finished 8th grade algebra," said Nick, "I know trigonometry like the tip of my penis at this point so of course I'm going to spend more time playing Dino Puzzle." Nick also mentioned that he snorts all kinds of hard drugs off of his calculator case.

Nick is one of the many kids sucked into the calculator wave, whose games have been called "unproductive" and "deceiving" by the math department, but can you see where they are coming from? Zane Small cannot.

"Yo, fuck math. The only magic that happens on my calculator screen is when I beat my high score in 'Uncle Worm,' and that RARELY happens," the freshman stated, chuckling. Zane may be biased, as a student taking a web page course, but kids are becoming "anti-math" early into their high school years.

As a reader, you have a voice. What do you think of calculator games?

BREAKING Trojan Tempo. March 13, 2014. Follow us on Twitter @ttbreakingnews

Nurse Praises Courtney Owens for Fewer Nurse Visits

The high school nurse has a tough job and holds a lot of responsibilities, whether she's putting a band-aid on Dan Smith's neck or giving Connor Huth a tylenol. Basically, the nurse has absolutely no time for bull shit, and at the begininning of the month made this very clear to senior Courtney Owens. Here's what she has to say about the new flow in the office.

"Throughout her years at the high school, Courtney would pop in the nurse's office 2-3 times per week. It was hard for me to keep track of the other students, thanks to the frequent visits from the most vulnerable to injury student in the school," said the nurse. "I was starting to run out of band-aids, because she'd take them off during class and randomly need me to give her new ones."

Things have changed this March. 13 days into the month, the nurse is yet to see Courtney in her office.

"I'm proud of Courtney. I've seen her less and less, and am happy to know that she is taking better care of her health so I don't have to baby her in my office 3 times a week. She's on the right track, and has really gotten her shit together."

Courtney still wears 6 ankle braces but her improvements will not go unnoticed.

BREAKING Trojan Tempo. March 13, 2014. Follow us on twitter @ttbreakingnews

Kodey Price on OGTs

Senior Kodey Price gave us a ring on the webcam for a live video interview to discuss his third year of taking OGTs. 

"I was busy throughout my Sophomore and Junior year working two jobs to raise my son, Carmichael.  This made it tough for me to find the time to keep up with my classes," claimed Price. "This year I spent more time studying and never took my eyes off the prize." 

Maybe students should reconsider before they laugh at students who are only working hard to better there lives. Price is feeling good about his third round of the tests, and is dealing well with the teasing he receives from his buddies, who are spending their mornings at Waffle House without him all week. Joke's on them, lounging around as Price furthers his education. 

We'd like to thank Kodey for contributing his story on his senior year. Hope his OGT scores allow him to graduate and get the job he needs to buy diapers for his son.

BREAKING Trojan Tempo. March 12, 2014. Find us on twitter @ttbreakingnews

Senior Alex Magoteaux laughs at cold, hard news reports say

3/12 3:42 Troy, Ohio Senior Alex Magoteaux was seen laughing at cold, hard news earlier today. Magoteaux was quoted as saying, "Alright THS follow @ttbreakingnews it's actually pretty funny".

In a clear attempt to divert the guilt he felt, Magoteaux favorited Trojan Tempo BREAKING NEWS' response to his comment.

Magoteaux's mother, Gina, was seen visibly weeping in the halls of THS, presumably due to the guilt she felt at the monster she had raised. Junior Oliva Dankworth said, "it reminded me of the way families cry when their kin is convicted of murder. A slight tinge of remorse, but mostly regret."

Despite an outcry from concerned citizens, he could not be reached for comment.

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Eat Pizza Sticks

You may be wondering, "What the fuck am I putting into my body every day?" They are long, crusty, and delicious, but most of us are aware that there are a lot more factors to be taken into consideration when choosing a meal. Here's the top ten things to make you never want to put one of these bad boys in your mouth again:

10. Pepperoni is made from pigs, and pigs are dirty lil fuckers who live in BARNS.

9. Pizza dough plays no role in the crust of a pizza stick. What you are actually eating are old pancakes from Lincoln Square, pisswiped in the bathroom urinals.

8. Your parents spend an extra $1.50 every time your dumb ass orders one of these. Students who eat pizza sticks 2 times per day, 5 days a week end up spending $15 dollars per week of their parents money on unwarranted artery clogging.

7. All pizza sticks are made in red brick ovens, fueled by coals made by balls of burning pubes. Each year, 75 Ohio kids die of secondhand burning pube smoke.

6. Cheese is the 2nd most important ingredient in the pizza stick, and cheese is made from cows. Cows a dirty fuckers who live in crackhouse barns and step in their own shit. Cows also blast massive piss puddles on the floor without hesitation.

5. 6 THS cafeteria workers per month have to go on medical leave, due to frequent exposure to pube smoke.

4. Pube smoke hotbox in the kitchen and flows right out through the tray drop door. The ceiling tiles in the cafeteria are deteriorating, causing ceiling shrapnel sprinkles to sputter on student's selected and served lunch sides.

3. Numerous upperclassman have been denied of dates to prom due to embarrassing gas that leave the body as aftermath to consumption of pizza sticks.

2. Pube smoke oral consumption rates have increase by 150% percent since the item has hit Ohio cafeterias (OhioHealth.com).

1. Pube smoke

March 12, 2014. BREAKING TrojanTempo

Find us on the twitter @ttbreakingnews